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(Alright we’re rolling)


Hello welcome to the 

Allston suburban jazz hour 

Where we fill your mind 

With symbols and signs 

To provoke subservience 


But in more news 

This is Allston suburban jazz 

A tradition that is existed since 

About a year ago 


It is the most important tradition in modern music history 

Except for that other one 

And that other one 

And all those other ones 



Without further ado 

Whatever the fuck that is 


Please but it was cool what the fuck? 

Who cares we’re masters 

Everything we play is the most beautiful sound 

We’ve ever heard in our lives 

O wait is it rolling? 

Yes suburban jazz this is a sound 


Let’s do some sounds 

Johnson said he lost his head 

Walking round a shoreline 

Boston winter had made him kinda sad 

So he got into his head and pulled out an anchor 

Said I’m gonna go for a swim 


Drugman sighed 

That’s the only other side 

The place where I wanna go 

If I ever really need to go 


Well concrete stairs and mirror images 

I’m feeling kinda gleerious 

I wanna know just what you’re hiding 

Hiding, hiding under those 


Ice cold, ice cold flat lines 

Ice cold, ice cold blue eyes 

Ice cold, ice cold blue eyes 

Ice cold, ice cold. ice cold 

Yeah, O, yeah I wanna fucking drown 

In your eyes 

But also really 


O, O, O gotta go 

With the ol’ tin man and the nice to meet you 

He’s got a plan just with putting out a link 

He’s got a plan and it’s called the bones you break 


O, O 

Move, move, move, move, move 

Move, move, move, move your body 


Move your body 

Move your body 

Move your body 

Move around 


Move it to the left and right 

And then kinda bend it and 

Try to stand on 1 foot 

And really try and make that good 



And that’s it folks 

That’s how it ends 

Hey listeners 

You should be ashamed of yourself for listening to this 

You should feel bad 


And every second you’re just reminded of your own sin 

And filth, and rot and disgusting perversion 


O masturbating 

O no 

O no 

O no 

O no 

O no 


You’re against God 

Stop doing that 

Who is this music for? 

No one knows 

What is this music’s purpose? 

I don’t know 


Yeah scream 


It’s for that dude over there 

Walking across the pavement 



He looks kinda down 

He looks like he just lost his job at the dawg impound 

But he was kinda getting tired of having to put those 

Sad ol’ dear dead dawgs down 

So he’s kinda glad 

But kinda sad also 


At least now 

He won’t have to kill another puppy 



This song is for you 

That dude over there across the pavement 

I’m glad you won’t have to kill another puppy 

But it’s kinda bad you won’t have the money 

From your job at the dawg impound 


Take a look closer 

This man has lizard eyes 

He’s staring at you strangely 

He’s actually 

A kat in a human body 


That’s why he works at the dawg impound 

He’s a kat in disguise 


He doesn’t like dawgs 

Doesn’t like dawgs 

Doesn’t like dawgs at all 


I know better 

Then to interfere 

With the 

Affairs of the kat people 


They’ll eat you alive 

They’ll scratch your face 

And whatcha gonna do 

With a scratched up face? 


Leave the kat empire alone 

This is a warning to 

The man in the room 

Singing and playing the songs 


You don’t talk about the kat empire 

You don’t release songs about the kat empire 

Or they’ll come to you in the middle of the night 

And they will sleep on your chest 

And you’ll have allergies 

And it won’t be good 


That was a bunch of nonsense 

That is what suburban jazz is all about 


What the fuck was that? 



It was literally just 


It’s like who the fuck is this music for? 

It goes all over the place 

Then I start talking about this guy across the street 

Works the dawg impounds 

Yeah it’s always good 


Welcome back 

Is the tape rolling? 

Is it? 



This is 

Samala of the Sabiah 

Saying suburban jazz is good 


I think it’s kinda trash low key 

Hey everybody have you heard the news? 

It’s ringing up and down your head 

Hey everybody have you made me confused yeah? 

I’m still finishing my 1st cigarette of the morning 

I haven’t really started to think yet 


Why you trying to fill me with your other thoughts? 

I wasn’t giving any mind to hungry children before 

I was doing kinda swell 



I was doing kinda swell 


Love me anyway 

And I know that you hate 

And it goes round your head 

That’s the joke, it’s okay 

That’s the joke, it’s okay 

It goes round your head 


I know that she’s laughing at me 

But that’s okay because I’m in on the joke 

I think it’s funny too 

Cause it’s true 

It’s true 



And I just went off course 

Because I put my ego in the song 

And I wanted to sing about how this guy was making jokes about me 

And I was just like nah that’s some wack shit 

I don’t wanna listen to this guy telling jokes about me 

But I’m just laughing at him anyways 

Cause what the fuck am I gonna do 

Say dude stop fucking being a dickhead? 


Ah fuck 

Maybe I could’ve done that 

O shit 


I can’t believe you twisted my words 

Could’ve made it stretch and hurt 

Could’ve broken a lil words bones 


And so I have to say that 

That is cool 

I’m sorry thank you for doing the thing 



That’s an end 

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry 

I’m bragging about being fucking insane 

But wait, I can unplug the phone charger 

Let’s just take a breath… 

Let’s just take a breather 

How are you doing dude? 




This is like 

So different from the last psych ward so… 

This one is voluntary right 

So I can literally leave and go like do cartwheels and like 

Fuck around to like my fucking emo metal shit 


Ah god it’s so weird 

They finally put me back on my meds so… 

I’m finally in a psych ward 

But they like let me have a safe dose of Adderall at the same time 

So I’m not like on some weird shit 

That just makes me numb 




You get me? 




No it’s, no it’s strange I swear to God like 

This is the next step 

Like this is like some big shit actually happening like 

I’m gonna get signed to a record label 

And I know it sounds fucking stupid 

I know, that’s the point 

I have to let go of my ego like completely 

Like my family has seen this shit like what the fuck? 

And it’s not because I’m faking it 

It’s because I’ve literally been in that much pain 


(I’m listening)


No, no no no this is like 

The Murakami 

The Infinite Jest 


No this is actually some like 

God… okay like 

I don’t want the doctors to hear this but like literally 

Some like Pagan God shit 

There is some actual shit happening right now 

And like, I swear to Christ 






Like I know I can’t prove it 

Because of the social media curse 

That stops my best fucking music 

From like being on social media but like I swear to God 

That’s an actual thing 


But I’ve been like playing music for the other patients 

Yo, these people are like… 

Like I’m kinda like 


Low key 

Low key 

Low key become a celebrity in here 

Like it’s gonna take a while but it’s gonna happen 


No like high key it’s gonna happen 

It’s already happening 


Like I made a stupid story about… 

Making fun of you about how 

I’m not gonna sign to your record label 

Cause I’m gonna get like an actual industry record label soon 

Like I’m gonna get a record deal it’s just gonna happen 




No I swear 


I know I sound just fucking out of my mind 

But we have to be at this point 



Like are we gonna like change the world or not? 

Like I’m being fully serious 

I have been asleep 

I have not been up for nights 


Safe doses of both the anti-depressants 

And the fucking amphetamine shit 

Like safe doses 


I wasn’t even on them 

Like yesterday, all day 

And I was still without any amphetamines or Adderall 

Improvising my like 

Y’know my thoughts turn into music shit 

With no drugs whatsoever 

Completely sober 




You understand that if that’s true… 

That means that I’m moving in the right direction 

That’s like my fucking golden compass shit? 



You understand that right? 



That if the music is coming out when I’m sober 

That the golden compass is like 

Yo, you’re in the right place 

You’re doing the right thing 




No but do you understand how fucking weird this is? 

Like are you reading the shit I’m writing? 


(Um, yeah just read it today)


It’s weird isn’t it? 

But like it’s funny 

Like it’s funny right? 


(Yeah it’s hilarious)


Good thank you that’s the point 

But at the same time 

I’m not like doing it on purpose 

I’m literally like in the zone 

Like the Kenny Werner I am a master at music or some shit 

But like in terms of like everything 



Like here’s the thing 

I know it’s been really weird

But I’ve got like no embarrassment 


I’ve got like… 

Yeah, sometimes I get vibed 

I still get vibed 

I have to like… meditate 

And stop the fucking chaos in my mind 





But here’s the thing… 

I can unvibe myself 

I can get rid of like the fucking 

Incel Messiah fucking Kahvi witch curse 

Like that’s an actual thing 

You get that right? 




You get that Kahvi dancing in pig’s blood like actually fucking 

Did some weird fucking like curse shit to all of us? 


No no no 

I’m being completely fucking serious 

I’ve like… 

I know I just went for an emotional breakdown 

But this isn’t the kind where like 

Ah fuck I hate that I’m here 

I’m Joker laughing… 


Like, I’m doing the fucking Joker laugh thing 


(Mhm, mmm)


No like I’m… 

I’m literally like Radiohead, In Rainbows 

“I’m the next act” 



This is fucking weird as shit 

Like honestly this is not… 

Like just me being crazy this time 


It never was really 

You saw me like when I had my first like... 

Holy shit, what the fuck is going on? 

And I show up at Caleb’s house and like 

Yo, is he gonna punch me or not? 

You remember that stupid shit 


And I’m talking about Ivan like yo 

He wants to fucking kill homeless people 

Fuck him 

Do you know how much fucking anger I have inside me? 




No like I never gave a shit 

Like everyone’s like yo 

“You’re hanging out with Kahvi as a friend but you’re not fucking her?” 

And I let their dumb chimp insecurity get into my head 

That made me think that I actually gave a shit about having sex with her 

Well I mean like, she’s very hot but… 


The insecurity part is like… 

Yo, I just liked hanging out with her as a friend 

And because you guys like… 

Got in my fucking head and I didn’t fucking… 

Like actually fucking scream at you fucking chimps 

Like I’m sorry... 



It’s not a race thing 

You’re all white 

Except for Khalil 

Does he count as part of like our 

Weird fuck shit? 


(Wait, who’s not white?)



Does he count as part of our weird fuck shit? 


(I don’t think he counts)

(He’s been around like 3 times)


No dude, do you understand this is how I actually think? 

Like I’m getting all of you guys 

I’m gonna bring you to England 

We’re gonna do some weird shit 


(I’m down)


Do you? 

I know it’s weird but I swear... 

Like I’ve been seeing like 


(If you pull it off, yeah)


If I pull it off… 

But here’s the thing… 

I didn’t plan this shit 

Like I’m in the zone 

I’m not planning any of this 


Like if somehow… 

Like I was on acid like… 

This just happened and I was chosen as the 1 

Who like started this shit like… 

I don’t fucking know 

But here’s the weird part 

Here’s the weird part about all of it… 


I’m like… 

Multiple things at the same time 

So it’s like I’m 

It’s not multiple personality disorder 

I just feel 2 emotions at once 

You get that? 


(No, not really)


No, I’m literally crying and laughing at the same time 

Like not like actually… 




So it’s like when I was on acid 

The fucking Kahvi 3 way with Caleb thing… 

It’s like yo 

This is terrible 

I feel really bad 


But it’s kind of really cool like knowing that she’s gonna fuck Caleb 

And just kind of like being here and feeling how terrible it is 




You get that I’m like that like that… 

O, I hate getting cucked 

But I also kind of like getting cucked? 



(I don’t know, I wouldn’t wanna be cucked)


No, but do you understand like 

I’ve never truly understood what the fuck I am? 

And like it’s actually something fucking weird? 


(Mmm, mhm)


No it’s like… 

No like I’m like actually super autistic 

I’ve actually just been like creating like 

Personality folders in my hard drive 


I’m around Jenny for 2 seconds 

I come back to you and I’m like yo Andrew 

You were a fucking asshole to fucking Jenny 

I’m around you for 2 seconds it’s like 

Yo Jenny, like you’re being stupid 

You get that? 

Like I literally don’t control it 




It’s so fucking weird 

Like literally my personality changes 

Depending on who I’m fucking with 

And you know Kahvi and Katie… 

You know what pisses me off about them? 


They lie about like the fact… 

That they were good friends with me… 

Because I’m not cool 

Like do you get that? 




They literally like… 

Yo, I know my memories 

Kahvi and Katie… 

Literal bad people 


Kahvi’s better 

Kahvi’s not as bad 

She’s actually pretty cool 


Like I’ve been sending her the most fucked shit 

And Katie the most fucked shit 

And like… 

Like literally I... 


This morning I wake up and I’m like yo Katie 

Yo please, no restraining order please 

And then I started crying… 

Like just literally I cannot stop crying 

I fall on the floor 

Like the people here are like what’s going on? 


And I can’t help it I send her another E-Mail 

It’s no longer this scary like… 

The scary shit 

The psychopath shit 

It’s now like… 


Yo, I can not stop crying Katie 

I know I said I wouldn’t because I’m scared of a restraining order 

But I literally cannot stop crying 


You know what you did Katie? 

You hooked up with me 


Like a really like fucking traumatized autistic guy 

And you know what you did? 

You know what you fucking did? 


You expect me to read your social cues 

Instead of telling me that you changed your mind 

Invited me and Duncan to come to your apartment 

Without telling me you changed your mind 

I put my head on your feet 

You kicked me 


Like you understand like how fucked that is? 

That she did that? 


(Mhm, mmm)


You understand Katie literally fucking abused me 

Kahvi not as much cause she like… 

Kahvi not really 


A little bit 

A little bit 

A little bit 


But Kahvi’s fucked 

And I know that Kahvi has a good reason to be fucked 

But Katie’s just evil 

Like she’s like an actual abuser towards men 




She’s just that 

No, she’s like literally like the feminist like 

“Ooo, I can’t be bad I’m a woman” 

Like do you get that she’s that? 


(Mmm, mhm)


Yeah, you get that Katie’s like… 

Have you seen… 

Like her, the way she changes her aesthetic 

And she’s literally become like the… 


Fucking colored hair like SJW like stereotype? 

Like can you see that? 




Isn’t that fucking weird? 


(Mmm, it’s pretty normal)


It must be… 

No no but it’s like she subconsciously knows… 

She’s full of fucking shit 




It’s so weird 


No it’s so weird 

You get that there’s like 

Weird shit going on with our friend group? 

And it’s not just like me being psychotic 

You see that? 


You’ve always seen it 

Like I’m not gonna ever fucking do acid again… 

Cause holy shit, I’m on some other shit 


No, like I am so fucking autistic 

No, like no actually I just like… 

I’m one of those like super autistic people 

That it’s like, oh wow… 

Holy shit 


I hear your voice 

I’m getting fucking goosebumps like literally… 

I think of like fucking like… 


Katie or 

Kahvi or 

Hannah or 



There was a dahlia flower in the garden 

In the fucking garden of the psych ward 

And I started getting hard 

From the fucking dahlia flower 

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